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moving
Aug 30, 2023
you will get over it eventually. you will move past the sudden shock of freedom when you finally escape your hometown that never truly felt like home and the room that was too large for your comfort but too small to contain you. you will sit in your just-past-new home in your big-enough-to-hold-you-this-time surroundings. you will sit and hear the sounds of others and realize that that voice down the hall does not belong to your little brother, but instead someone you still have yet to meet. you have a new life and you will simply exist within it, just shy of loneliness. you cannot find the card you were given on your birthday, the one you believed to be too delicate to be discarded, so it sits, piled up among graded tests and odd drawings, collecting dust miles away from you. your name on the front cover will fade over time, but the signature within deserves more than to be forgotten like this, more than your cold abandonment. your childhoot pet thinks the same, sits on your always-made bed and wonders why it feels so empty. you will be kinder to yourself, though. you will see a much larger picture filled to the brim with people just like you and yet so completely different. you will look in the mirror at the person you tried to kill and you will learn to forgive each other. there are many years to come, and for the first time you can believe it, no longer weighed down by the heaviness of the people that have percieved you before this very moment. it will take time, though, so for now you can just sit out the window and watch everyone pass by.
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